This story is complete in three (very long) parts, but each part is too long to post to LJ. If you'd like to read it on Archive of Our Own, you can find it here.

The Part Where You Let Go
Author: enigmaticblue
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters; too bad, so sad.
Spoilers: Through 3.04, “I Do Over”
Pairings/Characters: Nathan/Allison, Jack/Nathan
Summary: When Jack takes it upon himself to stop the time loops, it’s up to Nathan to bring him back.
A/N: Many, many thanks to enmuse, whose idea this originally was, and who wrote some bits and pieces that she allowed me to use. This story would not exist without her. The title is from the song by Hem of the same name.
A/N 2: So, since this is sort of like a remix, I feel as though I should say that I made a couple of big changes. The first is that this story is entirely from Nathan’s point of view. The second is that this is told in present tense. I hope those choices make sense when you read the story.

Part I: Losing

Nathan is about half a second away from calling Carter and telling him to bring the logic diamond to Global Dynamics. Carter might be the very definition of dependable, but Nathan knows how unhappy he is about the wedding.

“Why Allie had to ask him to walk her down the aisle, I’ll never know,” Nathan mutters, pushing back from his desk. He has an assistant to collect and a delivery to oversee. The new clock has put Nathan squarely into Eva Thorne’s good graces, and Nathan has every intention of using that to his and Allie’s advantage.

Carter’s entry has Nathan freezing in place. The sheriff looks like he’s been through the war—cuts and bruises on his face, dirt on his uniform, and his left arm pressed tightly to his ribs. “What the hell happened to you?” Nathan demands.

“It’s a long story,” Carter replies wearily. “I need your help.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Nathan snaps. “I’ve got—”

“An important delivery,” Jack finishes for him. “I know. You’ve got a clock that has the Swiss fuming.”

Nathan frowns. “How do you know about that?”

“There’s a time loop, and time is destabilizing.” Carter pulls an envelope out of his back pocket. “I don’t have a lot of time to explain. It took eight hours for you—the previous you—to figure this much out. We’re under the gun here.”

Nathan snorts and tries to go around him. “Far be it from me to critique your scientific knowledge, Carter, but that’s impossible.”

“Damn it, Stark!” Carter snaps, slapping the envelope against Nathan’s chest. “Just read it!”

Nathan doesn’t think he’s heard Carter swear at him like that before, and he takes it out of reflex, his eyes scanning the page. Although most of the print is computer-generated, there’s a note in Nathan’s scrawl at the top of the page.

It’s decidedly odd for Nathan to read a note that he doesn’t remember writing but that definitely came from his hand.

“If you’re reading this, it means that Carter is telling the truth. You’d better listen to him.”

Nathan rubs his face. “Okay, give me a few minutes to look it over.” He gives Carter a sharp look, noting the faint tremors running through the other man. “And sit down before you fall down, Sheriff.”

With a gentle hand, Nathan guides Carter to the sofa in his office and pushes him to sit. “How many loops is this?”

Carter shakes his head. “Uh, five? I think. Maybe six.”

Nathan raises his eyebrows. “Are you seeing double, Carter? Headache?”

“I don’t have a concussion, and I’m not crazy,” Carter mumbles.

Nathan decides that arguing with Carter would be adding insult to injury, and Carter’s looking pretty rough. “Okay, who was working on this with me?” Nathan asks. “I’m assuming Weinbrenner was the one who got it started.”

“Something about ultra-indigo light?” Jack asks. “We went over this last loop.”

“Which you would remember, but I wouldn’t,” Nathan replies impatiently.

“I made you write that stuff down so I wouldn’t have to work so hard convincing you this time,” Carter says, his eyes sliding shut.

“I need some time to get up to speed,” Nathan says. “So, lay down, get some rest, and I’ll come get you when I have a better idea of how we’re going to fix this.”

He figures it’s an indicator of how tired and bruised Carter is when he doesn’t so much as voice a complaint, let alone put up a fight. Carter always fights it when Nathan gives an order, but this time, Carter just slumps lower, tips his head back, and closes his eyes.

Nathan spares Carter a final glance, wondering if he should get Allie in to look at him. If Nathan does that, he has to tell Allison what’s going on, though, and this is supposed to be her big day. He’s not going to ruin it, and Carter is moving under his own steam, so his injuries probably aren’t life threatening.

Nathan sends Fargo to take delivery of the clock while he goes over his own notes. He spares a moment to think about how much easier it is to follow his own line of reasoning, rather than having to decipher someone else’s, and he’s grateful for that small mercy.

Because the truth is that Nathan has no idea how to fix this. Their last attempt should have worked.

“Nathan!” Allison calls as he strides across the lobby on his way back from his lab to his office.

“Allison,” Nathan replies, momentarily drawing a blank on what to say. “You know, I think it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.”

“Only if she’s wearing the dress,” Allison replies, but her smile seems a little forced. “I talked to Carter.”

Nathan winces. “Ah…”

“He says you’re working on the problem?”

Nathan had expected her to ask more questions, so he just nods. “Yeah, I’m working on it. We’ll find a solution.”

“Weinbrenner’s dead,” Allison informs him. “His body is still in the morgue. Jack tells me that I—well, that some version of me—called Henry in to do an autopsy, but of course we won’t have the results.”

Nathan shrugs. “If we don’t get this taken care of, it’s not going to matter. I think this is the last loop. How’s Carter?”

“He’ll be fine,” Allison replies. “He’s got a couple of broken ribs, and scrapes and bruises. He wouldn’t let me do more than look at him.”

“I’ll escort him to the infirmary myself when this is all over,” Nathan promises. “Right now, though, I need his help.”

Allison nods. “I’ll see you later.” She touches his arm. “Nathan—call if you’re going to be late.”

“You should probably bet on it,” Nathan replies. “We can’t try to accelerate the photon until 6 pm sharp.”

She nods, but her eyes are troubled. Nathan wants to ask her what’s going through her head, but he honestly doesn’t have the time to spare right now.

They go their separate ways, and Nathan heads to his office to collect Carter. “I need you to answer a few questions,” Nathan says without preamble. “We’re heading down to the time maintenance lab.”

Carter stands with some effort, his face pale and sweaty. Nathan feels a surge of unwelcome respect; he doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone who is quite as persistent, and he has to admire that kind of determination. “Yeah, let’s get moving.”

Nathan peppers Carter with questions, trying to remember to keep the words to two syllables or less, and Carter responds slowly but with every indication that he understands.

“You know, I’ve been through this before,” Carter says as they near the lab. “I might understand more than you think.”

Nathan doesn’t dignify that assertion with a response. “Sit down before you fall down, Carter. I’ll get moving on this.”

Fargo is waiting for them, and he follows Nathan’s explanation of what’s going on with ease. Fargo’s been around long enough that he knows how Nathan thinks, and he can often anticipate Nathan’s orders and requests. They move seamlessly around each other while Carter looks on. Even with Nathan’s notes from the last loop, and knowing what had been tried before, they’re running out of time.

When Nathan’s last attempt to remotely synchronize the photon acceleration and the new clock fails, he slams his hand down on his lab table. “Damn it!”

“No luck, huh?” Carter’s weary question pulls Nathan’s attention away from his laptop.

Nathan shakes his head. “No. We’re going to have to do it manually. Fuck.”

Jack stands. “Is there any way to hook up the clock outside the shielding?”

Nathan runs a hand through his hair and turns to look at Fargo. “Fargo? Any suggestions?”

Fargo opens his mouth to reply, and then his eyes go wide. “What—Sheriff Carter!”

Looking back, Nathan knows he should have expected Carter to do an end run around him, but he’d thought Carter too injured to move that fast. By the time Nathan has figured out what Carter is planning, it’s too late—Carter has secured the door to the shielding, locking them out.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Carter?” Nathan demands angrily.

“Ending this,” Carter says shortly. “I have your notes. I know how this works.”

“Carter—”

“Look,” the sheriff says, a little desperately. “This is the last loop, right? So, if I don’t do this, we’re all dead, and if something happens to me—well, as much as I hate to admit it, you’re the best person to fix the problem, Stark.”

Nathan can’t argue with that logic, as much as he might want to, so he says, “And if this doesn’t work, and there is another loop?”

“I’m not going to last,” Jack says softly. “I’ve got bruises on top of bruises, Stark, and at least a couple of broken ribs. I can’t do another one.”

“Damn it,” Nathan mutters.

“Do me a favor?” Carter asks.

Nathan nods, the words stuck in his throat.

“Take care of Zoe for me. Make sure she has the chance to stay in Eureka.”

Nathan nods. “Of course, but—”

“And take care of Allison,” Carter continues as though he hadn’t been interrupted. “Make her happy.”

Nathan shakes his head. “We’re not getting married today, Carter. Not if—”

“Yeah. Just—take care of them.”

“Sure.”

“Sixty seconds!” Fargo calls.

Nathan keeps his eyes on Carter, who bends his head to make a few last minute adjustments to Weinbrenner’s device.

“Jack,” Nathan begins.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Carter warns. “Keep an eye on Thorne, okay? She’s up to something, and she’s trying to rope Henry into helping her. Something about berry-genic radiation. Henry knows.”

“Thirty seconds!” Fargo warns.

“I’ll take care of Thorne,” Nathan promises.

“Tell Jo she’s going to do great as sheriff,” Jack says.

Nathan swallows the lump in his throat. “I’m going to get you back, Carter.”

“I know you’ll do your best.”

“Ten seconds!”

“Jack…”

“I’ll see you on the other side,” Carter says with a wry smile.

Nathan takes a couple of steps back. “You’re going to be okay.”

“Watch over Zoe, make sure she doesn’t fall apart,” Carter says, a note of pleading in his voice.

“Done,” Nathan promises.

“Five!” Fargo calls.

Nathan’s heart is beating double-time, and his heart is in his throat. “Jack—”

Carter just smiles, and then he looks down at the tablet, his fingers moving over the touchpad as Fargo finishes the countdown.

Nathan wants to say something more. He wants to assure Carter once again that everything is going to be okay, but Nathan doesn’t have a way to make that promise.

Carter glances up with that same smile when Fargo says, “One!”

“He’s done it!” Fargo cries as the clock moves past 6:00:00.

Nathan just shakes his head because Carter hasn’t moved, and Nathan knows that’s a bad sign. Then Carter begins to disappear, and if Nathan were given to flights of fancy, he might have said that he could see it happen molecule by molecule.

Nathan hears Fargo gulp behind him. “What happened?” Fargo asks.

“I don’t know,” Nathan replies. “Do you have a record of what happened?”

Fargo nods. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

“Send everything—and I mean everything—to me,” Nathan orders. “Video footage, readouts, anything.”

“Yes, sir,” Fargo agrees readily. “You want that now?”

“Within the hour,” Nathan replies. “I have to go talk to Allison and Zoe.”

Nathan drives the speed limit on the way to the wedding, knowing that Allison—as well as the rest of the town—will be there. He heads for the bridal tent that had been set up for Allison’s use and sees Lupo standing guard outside.

“Dr. Stark!” Lupo says, stepping into his path. “Allison isn’t ready yet.”

“Find Zoe and get her here,” Nathan orders. “Do it now.”

Allison is inside the tent, still in her business suit, pacing. “Nathan, where’s—” She stops cold and swallows. “How bad?”

“I told Deputy Lupo to bring Zoe in,” Nathan responds.

Allison puts a hand over her mouth. “He’s—”

“Let’s wait for Zoe,” Nathan cuts her off. “I just want to go through this once.”

Allison’s lips tighten, but she nods. “Of course.”

When Lupo ushers Zoe inside, he watches as Zoe takes in the import of his and Allison’s presence. Her hands clench into fists, and Nathan suspects that Zoe won’t have a problem taking a swing at him if she decides he deserves it.

Hell, maybe he does.

“Maybe you should sit down,” he suggests.

Zoe stiffens, holding up a hand as though she can ward off Nathan’s news. “Where’s my dad?”

“Zoe,” Allison begins.

“No!” Zoe’s voice is a little higher, a little louder.

Lupo puts an arm around the girl’s shoulders and leads her to the settee. “Come on, Zoe.”

“What happened?” Zoe asks again.

Nathan kneels in front of her. “We had a serious problem up at Global Dynamics,” he begins. “There was an accident, and we were stuck in a destabilizing time loop. Your dad was one of the only people who were unaffected.”

He sees the understanding and the horror begin to dawn. “No.”

“All of our efforts to remotely stabilize the time loop failed, Zoe,” Nathan says gently. He wishes he were better with people, or that there’s a better way to break the news. “Someone had to synch time manually.”

Zoe blinks rapidly. “Why didn’t you do it? Why would you let my dad do that?”

Nathan doesn’t have an answer to that question; it echoes his own guilt too precisely. “I’m sorry,” he offers helplessly. “We don’t—there’s a possibility that Carter—that your dad is dematerialized and stuck in between space and time. If that’s true, I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to bring him back.”

He catches Allison’s disapproving look, probably because she thinks he’s offering Zoe false hope.

The expression on Zoe’s face indicates that she’s somewhere else entirely. “He knew. Dad knew.”

“Zoe, honey,” Allison began, her voice soft. “I’m sure he didn’t know.”

“No, he knew!” Zoe insists, fury and betrayal clear on her face. “He said he’d learned his lesson, and he said…” She sniffs, and now the tears fall. “God, he said he didn’t want to miss anything, that he wanted to spend time with us.” She looks at Lupo. “Aunt Lexi—”

“I’ll get her,” Lupo promises, her eyes suspiciously bright. “Just stay here.”

“Can we call your mom for you?” Allison asks cautiously, putting an arm around Zoe’s shoulders.

Zoe shakes her head. “No, you can’t. She’s consulting with a company in Japan. I don’t—it’s a year long contract. She can’t break it, and I don’t want to go to Japan.”

“You can stay here,” Nathan says. “I promised your dad you’d have the option of staying. If your aunt is willing to stay with you…”

“I think she was planning on it,” Zoe replies, sniffling.

Allison meets Nathan’s eyes. “Okay, then. We’ll make sure it happens, Zoe. Whatever you need.”

A blonde woman who looks to be in her mid-thirties walks into the tent as Lupo holds the flap up for her. “Zoe?” she says, sliding onto the settee on Zoe’s other side. “Is everything okay? Where’s Jack?”

“There’s been an accident,” Allison begins. “Carter is missing.

Continued...